As we all know, wherever two or three are gathered, there will be . . . quotes that sound hilarious, especially when taken out of context and placed randomly in a blog post. Some of you have looked forward to the JasonSays-es of this trip, and there are plenty, but others have pulled their weight in making our time more light-hearted and entertaining. Rach and Rich, feel free to add the ones you have as well.
While hopefully remaining outrageous, quotes have been edited/censored to protect future political careers.
The old classic, #JasonSays
“That’s why they’re (our young men) sick, because they’re in that incubator of germs (their room). You wanna know where the Ebola outbreak is coming from? Right there.”
“I don’t know why, but I like to pick up small pieces of trash and put them in my pocket.”
“What? Yes, this is my leg hair. I’m just using it as dental floss because I don’t have any handy.”
“I think we need to go to the grocery store. If not for anybody else, then for me.”
“Oh, Luke! We haven’t even gotten to all the cereal choices in Latin America. My goodness! My heavens! It is like Heaven. . . ”
“. . .I don’t waste my time with cereal that’s not Choco Zuccaritas.”
“I didn’t know there was an Apple store in San Jose, but we did see a kid peeing in a cup at the mall.”
“I want to work at Pizza Hut in El Salvador. That is my dream.”
“He probably didn’t want to be there. Too many Eves.”
And of course, #PastorEdgarSays
“I don’t need First Class. I want to be with my people.”
“It’s like Judo.”
“I shouldn’t say this, but I look like Gandhi in this photo. This is very good.”
For the sake of protecting minors, #YouthSay is pretty generic, but I’ll just tell you that Luke, Robbie, and Truman were major contributors in this category.
“There aren’t a lot of highlights to living in North Korea.”
“Pizzas here are better. They’re good, and they’re not even that bad.”
“In what world does a deer look like a dog? Have you ever seen a deer?”
“You’ve never had a pupusa?! Dang, your life is meaningless.”
“No, you don’t have raves in apartments. You have raves in abandoned warehouses.”
“I thought they actually had chocolate-covered meat here, and I was like, ‘Score,’ but then I was disappointed.”
“Where would you buy a baby?”
“I’ll out eat you any day of the week. You saw my fine work at Pizza Hut.”
“I’d give you a hug, but then you’d get sick and die, so that would be bad.”
“Someone could snatch you out of the window. American kids go for around $20,000 here.”
“I have a mean quote, but I won’t say it. It has to do with Elvis Presley and Rich.”
“This ant’s name is Little Rich. He doesn’t bite, except I think he’s eating the hair off my hand.”
“Chicken skin supplies all my nutritional needs.”
“Listen to your wife, Jason. Once you start dressing yourself you’ll lose all your friends, and it’s all downhill from there.”
“The communion cup is different, that’s holy backwash.”
And last but not least, everyone’s favorite refrain from the back of the bus:
“Hey, wanna play Capitalism?”