Reflections: Carol

Today’s Reflection is by Carol Blythe.

Our last stop on our trip to the state of Morazan was at El Mozote. Morazan is a mountainous region which borders Honduras.and much of the fighting during the war happened in this area. On the way to El Mozote we drove up mountainous roads and continued to be awed by beautiful views of mountains, valleys, farms, and small villages. And, as in the rest of the country, we also see many people as we pass through towns and villages, farms and country-side. This little country is filled with people, including many beautiful children. We arrived late in the day at El Mozote which had been site of a terrible massacre. The army had told many people in the area to come to El Mozote and they would be safe as operations were going to occur in the surrounding country-side. Instead of being safe, however, the army killed all the people who were gathered there. Our guide shared stories of that day that were just horrific. Only a few of the stones of the original church are left, but a new church has been built there with a beautiful mural on a side along with a “Garden of Innocents” remembering the children that died there. The mural begins with dark blue colors, as the killings happened in the night. The mural, however, moves from that dark panel along a rainbow onto panels that are lighter in color. The mural includes mostly images of children but also images of lightening bugs. The people said the day after the killings, they saw many lightening bugs in the area where they had never seen them before and they imagined they were the souls of the innocent children. The site is heart-breaking and at the same time, the mural and garden are beautiful. Then we proceeded to the kiosk where the women of El Mozote sell hand-crafted items. One of the people there told Rick that the site was deserted for a few years, but then many relatives of those who were killed have moved back and re-established the town. While we spent time in the kiosk, others in our group shared temporary tattoos of animals on the hands and arms of the children. Looking down the small street, you could see other children playing soccer at a field just on the edge of town. We also saw people in small stores and a some youth gathered at the “FMLN Revolutionary Youth” site. People were also sitting outside houses and talking to one another. This town was full of life. Eric talked about it being a sign of resurrection. And it is. But at the same time, how do we face the fact that there is an aching absence of those children and adults who died that day? How do we face the fact that many of the guns were provided by our own country to the Salvadoran army and many of the leaders of the massacre were trained at US army facilities? What is our call as we return to the US? — how can we do justice, how can we do mercy for the people of El Mozote and El Salvador? — how can we walk humbly with our God? I am grateful for this group I have traveled with — we have become a community committed to this partnership with the people we have met in El Salvador. I am grateful for the leadership of Edgar, Eric, Amparito, Xochitl, and Laura. I treasure comments made and questions asked by my fellow travelers, David & Gina, Josh, Sam, Amelia, and Rick. I look forward to struggling together to answer those difficult questions and I look forward to more laughter as we do so. At the end of the trip, I can sum up the El Salvador trip as being a time filled with learning about difficult and painful experiences and a time filled with beauty and laughter. On Friday, Oct 16 we traveled on a road used during the war for violence that has now been re-named the Route of Peace. In our devotional booklet for that same Friday, the verses Eric has included echo our experiences in El Mozote: “A highway shall be there, and it shall be called the Holy Way . . . . . and the ransomed of the Lord shall return, and come to Zion with singing; everlasting joy shall be upon their heads; they shall obtain joy and gladness, and sorrow and sighing shall flee away.” Isaiah 35: 8, 10, May it be so, and may we help it to be so.

Reflections: Josh

Today’s reflection comes from Josh Keller: 

I feel honored to have served a week with my fellow members of Calvary in El Salvador.    I admit some parts of the week stretched me farther than others.  Listening to the ocean waves was much easier to take in vice the stories of injustice and life claimed by the ignorance of hate. 

The history of this country and what they had been though was a lot to wrap my head around but I also felt hope with witnessing many acts of humanitarian compassion on this trip.  God is found in these moments, the church community providing food for those who have not, the pastor who loves his youth so much he would drive them an hour for a possible scholarship, and a group of Gringos trying to figure out what is their part.  This is God at work amidst his people.

I feel like I am still processing the amount of work that needs to be done on a global level and what my part is as a solo act in this crazy thing called the world.  Many live without proper medical attention and some with a limited amount of food they can eat each day because they simply don’t have the resources.  What can I do to help?  What is my role and why has God allowed to ME to be born into this privileged life?  All these are questions that can be daunting and many times easier to just let alone.  Am I going to make a difference as one person?  Every time I think these thoughts, I hear……. “It just takes one.” 

It takes one, just one

And then one follows the other one

And then the other follows another one

Next thing you know you got a billion

People doing some wonderful things

People doing some powerful things

Let’s change and do some powerful things

Unity could be a wonderful thing

“BEP Union”

Reflections: David

Today’s reflection comes from David Grise: 

The warmth of our welcome almost exceeded the Central American heat.  We felt an immediate bond with the small congregation at the Light and Truth Baptist Church.  This perplexed me, for our lives could not be more different.   Calvary is an imposing structure in perhaps the most powerful city on the planet in perhaps the most wealthy country in the world.  Their church is a concrete block structure without windows on a mostly dirt road in a small village.  Those who are lucky enough to be employed may earn $5 for a 10-hour day.   We did not speak the same language, did not eat the same food, and my skin-tone made it obvious that the sun and I were not yet acquainted.

During the service, the Pastor called us to prayer.  Everyone began to kneel on the bare floor — a thin stiip of linoleum covered the concrete.   I was still pondering whether to risk one knee when the oldest member of the congregation, a 99-year-old woman wearing a bandage around her ankle, knelt beside us.  If she could do it, then so could I.

It was on my knees, praying with her for the basic needs of all humanity, that I began to understand our immediate bond.  Despite our many cultural and personal differences, what brought us together was far more powerful and important than what separated us.  In John 17, Jesus prays for all belivers that will come after him.  He prays that they will be “one.”   On October 11, 2009, I took the tiniest step in that direction.

Reflections: Rick

Today we start the first in a series of reflections written by Missions team members about their week. The first reflection, below, is by Rick Goodman.

 For over twenty years, I have wanted to go to El Salvador.  My first peace march was to oppose the U.S. support of the Salvadoran military.  Carol and I attended a march and a concert by Joan Baez for Peace for El Salvador.  I remember when Monsignor Romero asked President Carter to stop sending the military aid.  Carter ignored the plea.  I remember when Romero was killed, the nuns, the Jesuits.  I have long admired Father Rutilio Grande.  The connection to El Salvador is extensive, actually for all Americans due to our financing one side in the civil war there.

So, finally, I go. The blog covers the basics of the trip rather well.  I shall always remember trodding the sacred ground of UCA where the Jesuits and a mother and daughter were killed, the Cathedral where protests and battles occurred, the guerilla camp, and El Mozete.  There was something to break your heart and then lift you up each day.

Seeing the profound respect that so many people had for Edgar was wonderful.  

Hearing so much about the country and its situation through the voice of Amparito was great.

Xochitl’s logistical skills were always in evidence.

Paula was delightful.

Travelling with a small group of diverse, thoughtful, funny, and caring people enriched my personal experience.

The Shalom scholars and candidates inspire me to keep going in life no matter what.

I was humbled by how much the rural church that we spent the day with focused on helping others.

Finally, I shall find it easy now to measure social policy.  The questions are somehow simple.  Does what I do, what the church does, what the government or non-profits do, benefit the woman we met who makes $4 a day to feed three people?  Does anything we do help the three little children who walk up into the hills and come down carrying wood to provide fuel for their stove?   I hope our actions at Calvary and elsewhere can make the very real hopes being discussed in El Salvador at this time become a reality for all its people.

Home again

David’s tearful goodbye to Moose Gusto, our mascot

Carol is very excited about the magnet Paula gave her

Laura and the Palacios family

Saying adios!

Final Group pic

We made it!

Our luggage made it! All smiles!

Back home!

It has been a long day of travel. We began with goodbyes to our amazing hosts. Xochitl and her family really went above and beyond to give us such an spectacular week. If you need to travel at all in Central America, you need to talk to Xochitl! Amparo deserves a medal for all of her hard translation work this week. And of course, Pastor Edgar: he radiates joy and traveling alongside him through his country is something so moving that we will need many more posts to describe it. But for now, we will just say muchas gracias to the entire family and their many friends for welcoming us, teaching us and letting us explore their incredible home.

In our discussion this morning, we described how it was like the Palacios family created a “bubble wrap” around our trip that allowed us to explore so many different facets of the country. It is so rare that you get to be immersed in a culture in only a week and feel totally safe and cared for by people who are a part of the culture. We are truly grateful for their hard work and open hearts.

We are also excited to share all that we have seen, learned and experienced with our friends in the US, especially at Calvary. It is the end of the trip, but the beginning of a new energy for our relationship with our friends in El Salvador. We will continue the blog to keep you updated on our activities and we will hope you will check back often!

5am…or 2:30am

The group after a long bus ride, enjoying breakfast

Breakfast!

Revolution museum

Coffee beans

Weapons used by guerillas

Eric by crater

Crater where bomb went off

Guerilla camp sign

Going into replica guerilla camp

Pastor Edgar in replica bunker

Josh climbs into replica bunker

The Governor and Pastor Edgar

Our group with the Governor

Countryside

River

Pastor Edgar shows off his muscles

Pastor Edgar and Rev Bebber in the river

Eric in motion

Eric jumping into the river

Swimming in the river

Josh at the river

Sisters! Amparo and Xochitl

Little boy carrying logs

Mountainside

Church at El Mozate

Garden at El Mozate where the children were murdered

Grave of Rufina Amaya, the sole survivor of the attack at El Mozate

Memorial statues

Plaque in remembrance of those killed at El Mozate

Garden of Reflection

Mural depicting move from darkness to light

Mural for children killed at El Mozate

Memorial garden for children killed at El Mozate

Part of the wall listing the names of the children who were killed

Mural on the church wall at El Mozate

Plaque to the children who lost their lives in El Mozate

Youth Revolution in El Mozate

Too cute

Laura loves the tattoos

Josh puts on the tattoos

Temporary tattoos are a hit!

We were scheduled to start our day at 5am today. Let’s rewind to last night. Most of us went to bed pretty early in anticipation of this morning. Around 11:30pm, Amelia feels a slight shake in her bed. Did her calf just spasm? A few seconds later, the entire bed shakes. Laura’s bed shakes as well and she sits straight up in bed. WHAT THE HECK WAS THAT??!?! Amelia lived in Indonesia a few years ago and quickly responded “An earthquake.” We didn’t really believe it until we confirmed it this morning. Apparently, a 4.8 (pretty minor) quake was off the coast. There’s an experience we didn’t anticipate on our trip!

Cut to 2:30am. In Eric, Josh and Sam’s room, an alarm goes off. They all wake up and try to decide if it is really time to get ready go. Oooops! Sam set his watch as if he never adjusted for the time change….it isn’t 4:30am, but rather 2:30am.

5:15am: Carol thinks the alarm story is hysterical. Josh responds: “If I didn’t have God in my life, I would have killed him.” Sam, in a sheepish tone with a tinge of fear: “Thank you Jesus.”

After all the insanity of the night, we loaded up the “minibus” and began the trek to the mountains in the northeastern part of the country. It was quite the journey but when we arrived, we enjoyed a beautiful traditional breakfast. Then we went on a guided tour of the Museum of the Revolution. We learned a lot about the guerillas and the conflict. It is really astonishing how the guerilla forces managed to battle with the much more trained and well-financed milary. It is also a sad disappointment to learn about the involvement of the American military in training the Salvadoran military. In more light-hearted news, Josh set a record for the tallest man ever to crawl through the faux bunker in the replica guerilla camp.

After the tour, we met with the Governor of Morazan (the state), Miguel Ventura. As a former minister, he gave us a very thorough overview of the role of Christian institutions in the conflict. We enjoyed our meeting and lunch with both he and his wife. We then drove to a beautiful swimming hole on the river. Splashing in the cool water was a welcomed break from the heat of the day.

We then traveled to El Mozate, the site of one of the worst massacres of the conflict. Here the military rounded up the population of the town and divided them by age and gender. They executed the adult men and women. They raped and then murdered the teenage girls. They took all of the children to the garden of the church and murdered them. To stand in a place where such atrocities occurred creates a flurry of emotion that I can’t begin to describe. At the end of our tour of the area, we stopped in a kiosk where books and videos about the massacre were sold. As there were several children hanging around, we took out our temporary tattoos. They were a huge hit, as the pictures demonstrate. Words don’t do justice to the mixture of emotion that comes from seeing these bright-eyed, innocent faces on the same ground where beautiful, innocent children were so brutally killed.

The return to San Salvador was a long trip, filled with songs and conversation about Calvary, El Salvador, missions work and many, many good jokes.

Picture captions will happen tomorrow! Reflections on our journey coming soon. Stay tuned.

La Playa

Yummy tortillas

Making tortillas

Thania’s house

David in the hammock

Hanging out at the house

Laura in the hammock

Playin in the waves

Playing in the waves

Gazebo on the beach

Eric about to eat the big fish

Playin in the water

Bright sunny day

El Mar (The Ocean)

Sunset

Sunset

Cow prints from the cows that were wandering on the beach

The crab that scared us!

Today, we went to the beach (la playa)! Along the way, we stopped for tortillas. We were very fortunate to have the generous hospitality of Thania again today. We went to her family’s beach house which, as you can see from the pictures, was magnificent. We lounged in the hammocks, splashed in the waves, enjoyed local seafood and played in the pool. So far, no major sunburn! It was a wonderfully relaxing day that provided time for reflection on our experiences thus far. Muchas gracias to Thania and her family for opening their home to us. We are off to bed early tonight as we will start our travels tomorrow at 5am!

Too many tamales!

The market where we did our part to stimulate the economy

Rick shows off his new purchases

View of the city

Amelia enjoys riguas

Making riguas

Tamales!

Edgar, David and Gina, waiting on the VP

Calvary delegation (less Laura who took the pic)

VP and Pastor Edgar in conversation

Talking policy

Calvary delegation with the VP

VP Sanchez Ceren and Pastor Edgar

Presidential grounds

The party we did not crash

Our own party

Carol and Edgar

Watching the soccer match (El Salvador lost to Honduras)

Pupusas!

Josh, Eric, Amelia and Edgar, cracking up

Story telling

More stories

Chatting about the lemon tree

Learning about lemon trees (Or maybe Mario is just making things up?)

Josh juggles lemons

The fruit

Carol, Eric and Amparo

Amparo and Laura

Josh and Laura

David and Gina

Carol and Rick

Amelia

Eric and Amparo

This morning we went to the market and did quite a bit of shopping. It was filled with beautiful handmade items- everything from scarves and necklaces to hammocks and hats. Rick was especially pleased to find FMLN gear and Gina may need another suitcase for all of the treasures we purchased. (David to Gina: “Why do we need a hammock?! We live in downtown DC in an apartment!”)  Several of the guys bought El Salvadorian soccer jerseys in preparation for tonight’s game against Honduras (which sadly, we lost). Don’t worry- we’re bringing back plenty of fun items that Calvary members can purchase to help support the Shalom scholarships.

After the market, we took a drive around the city and up a hill to a spectacular view. We also went through several of the “rich zones” and visited a mall that very much resembled an American mall. Because we had just visited some incredibly impoverished areas, the mall seemed even more opulent. The gap between the rich and the poor here is simply shocking.

We enjoyed another local lunch of riguas (corn pancakes with beans and cheese), tamales and Pastor Edgar’s favorite: Atol (a warm cornflour drink). After lunch, we returned to the hotel for a short rest and an opportunity to change into our Sunday best for our meeting with the Vice President, Sanchez Ceren. We drove to the Presidential grounds for our meeting with the Veep. He and his staff were very welcoming and hospitable. We really enjoyed our conversation which included topics such as crime, housing, poverty, the economic crisis and the policies of the new administration. We also talked in depth about education as he is a former teacher and currently serves as the minister of education. The government has some lofty goals for education reform and it was quite interesting to hear about their policy plans. He was very appreciative of the work that Calvary is doing for El Salvador, especially in terms of the scholarship support. After a photo op, we made our way to our bus and along the way, saw the beginnings of a party on the grounds. (We showed much restraint and did not crash said party). We took a short drive to the home of a friend of the Palacios, Thania and her husband, Igor. They live in a really beautiful place and have two small children (we were lucky enough to meet little David, decked out in his Spiderman pajamas. If he will fit in one of our suitcases, we might bring him with us so you can meet him too!) A feast of pupusas and plenty of entertaining conversation made for a wonderful close to our adventurous day.

As for the title: An anonymous group member said tonight of our diet – too many tamales!

Tomorrow, we go to the beach!

“Where there is more pain and suffering, there is more hope.”

Amparo helps Pastor Edgar with sunscreen

Beautiful baby burrito

Gina holding a baby that is only 6 hours old!

Mario teaches us about the maternity hospital

Josh and Carol suited up to see the babies in ICU

Getting ready for the ICU

Our group at the hospital

Mario gave the tour of the nursery.

Babies sleep two per bassinet here.

A glimpse into the nursery.

Laura with a burrito baby

Chocobanana goodness!

Eric loves Chocobananas!

Cathedral

Eric, Amparo, David and Gina at the cathedral

The Plaque of the National Debate for Peace

Reading the plaque

Pastor Edgar and the plaque he wrote

The whole group outside the Cathedral

Memorial to the war victims

Xochitl and the memorial

Memorial

Pastor Edgar explained the significance of some of the symbols of the mural.

Phillip Anderson, Pastor Edgar and Bishop Gomez

Who loves Pizza Hut?

Pastor Edgar loves Pizza Hut!

So does Xochitl!

The whole gang at Pizza Hut with the Mascot

Paula and Josh post-Pizza Hut

Pastor Edgar and his granddaughter, Paula

This morning, during breakfast, Amparo and Pastor Edgar shared their experiences during the conflict in El Salvador. Even though many of us know the Palacios family, this was the first time that we have heard the details of their struggles for peace during the war. It was incredible and Amelia is going to do a separate posting about their reflections.

After breakfast, we went to the Hospital Maternidad (the National Maternity Hospital). Xochitl’s husband, Mario, is a doctor and specialist in infant care who spends part of his day at this hospital. He gave us a very comprehensive tour of the facility which is the maternity hospital for uninsured individuals in El Salvador. On the first floor, we met several mothers and babies. When the babies are healthy, they remain in the bed with their mothers and do not go to a nursery. Most of the rooms have four mothers and babies. We were able to hold two babies who were just born 6 hours earlier. Because these tiny creatures were swaddled very tightly, we nicknamed them “baby burritos”. Check out the pics. Mario gave a very informative powerpoint presentation about the history of the hospital as well as the birth and mortality rates, the complications of premature birth and the difficulties of overcrowding in this hospital. At the conclusion of the presentation, we donned hospital gowns over our clothes and Mario took small groups of us into the ICU. It is difficult to describe the tiny, tiny size of these babies. Several were less than a pound and most were less than two pounds. We then toured the intermediate and lower levels of care. Most of the babies in the lowest level of care were in baskets with another baby. The contrast to American nurseries was stark and the pictures tell it best. It was also quite surprising to be given such access in a hospital, especially since none of us have medical backgrounds!

After the hospital, we ventured to the street for our new favorite treat- Chocobananas! These frozen bananas on a stick are dipped into warm melted chocolate and then rolled into different toppings. The stand we chose today also had frozen strawberries and pineapples. Again, the pictures tell so much more than all my words. For those of you whose mouths are watering at the sight, fear not- we spent the bus ride contemplating a way to open a Chocobanana stand in Washington, DC. The best part- the funds would go to the Shalom scholarship fund! Stay tuned for more details on this idea.

After our frozen treats, we went to the Cathedral where Monsignor Romero is buried (If you don’t know about Monsignor Romero, you need to click here.) Unfortunately, the tomb was closed but we did have the chance to see the Cathedral. We also went across the street to a park where a plaque commemorates the lives and deaths of the Jesuits as well as the struggle for peace. The plaque was established by the National Debate for Peace. Only after reading this plaque did we learn that it was authored by none other than our very own Pastor Edgar. It is pretty amazing to travel and learn alongside someone who was so instrumental in the history of this country.

We left the cathedral and went to a memorial for victims of the conflict. This wall lists the places where massacres occurred as well as people who were killed or who disappeared in the conflict. Pastor Edgar explained the symbolic significance of a mural by the wall that depicts the history of El Salvador.

After another short trip in our minibus, we enjoyed Pollo Campero for lunch. This is the first stop in the hotly debated topic of Pollo Campero vs. Kentucky Fried Chicken. The Palacios family (typically one of unity) is divided on this topic. We haven’t had KFC yet but many group members believe Pollo Campero made a strong showing. Stayed tuned.

After a brief return to the hotel, we went to a meeting with one of Pastor Edgar’s dear friends, Bishop Medardo Gomez. Like Pastor Edgar, Bishop Gomez was a strong advocate for peace during the 1980’s and 1990’s. The title of today’s blog is a quote from Bishop Gomez’s presentation, “The Theology of Life.” Bishop Gomez did a very good job of describing the challenges of Christian life in the modern world and the melding of his theological principles with the realities of his country. In the face of severe poverty, war and injustice, Bishop Gomez chooses to be hopeful and to trust that God helps those who need it. He told us about his experience of being on a hit list during the conflict. He shared about a time when members of the military took a cross  from his church that had a lot of symbolic significance. The military literally imprisoned the cross. Eventually, he was able to talk with the American Ambassador and have the cross returned to the Resurrection Church in San Salvador. He gave each of us a wooden cross as a reminder of this story. The crosses also have special meaning because they  are made from wood gathered from houses that collapsed during the 2001 earthquake. Bishop Gomez’s message of hope resonated with many members of our group.

Following his talk, we spoke with Philip (Felipe) Anderson, the Central American Representative of the Lutheran World Federation. We discussed a wide variety of issues with Pastor Anderson including crime, the drug trade, immigration, the situation in Honduras and American foreign policy. Pastor Anderson shared a fact that surprised most of our delegation: There are as many murders today in El Salvador as there were during the height of the conflict. Organized crime, gang formation and the availability of weapons have created difficult and dangerous situations in many part of El Salvador. We discussed possible solutions for some of the challenges, including abolishing the military of Central American countries. These complicated challenges require much more than our short discussion but it has been a good starting point for us to think about the solutions.

In keeping with our culinary adventure, we had dinner at Pizza Hut   We are all pretty exhausted and looking forward to a good night’s rest. Hasta manana!

Different Kind of Baptists

The residence where the Jesuits were killed

The Rose Garden in memory of those killed at UCA

Roses

Inside the chapel

A painting depicting the Jesuits who were assassinated and Christ

The back wall of the Chapel- depictions of the suffering of the people of El Salvador during the conflict

Josh and Eric in the Chapel

In the chapel

Josh and Eric at Mister Donut

Eric and Carol at Mister Donut

Sam, Carol, Isaura and Armando

Ketchup aka Ket Chup

Our delegation and scholarship applicants

Rick, Carol and Armando

Twin ministers, Eric and Edgar

Edgar, Josh, Eric and Paula

Laura y Paula (Xochitl and Mario’s daughter)

Today’s post will be a short one as it is 1am (though our bodies feel like 3am because of the time difference) and we have to be up bright and early.

Today was an incredible mixture of experiences. This morning, we went to one of the local universities (where Amparo and Xochitl both attended) called UCA and spoke with a professor of political science. We learned about the economic and political challenges in El Salvador and many details about the complexities of immigration from El Salvador to the US. After our meeting, we toured the part of UCA where the Jesuits were killed in the conflict in November, 1989. It was a very touching experience. There is a rose garden in the back of the residence that was tended by a gardener who lost his wife and daughter in the attack. His wife was a maid who stayed near the residence for safety. We also saw the chapel that houses many beautiful pieces of artwork relating to the conflict and the Jesuits. (Lots of pics above).

After this very sobering experience, we made a short stop at the bookstore on campus. Then we went to Mister Donut for lunch. Do not be fooled- there is so much more to Mister Donut than donuts. We did, however, enjoy donuts in addition to the “executive lunch.” We then returned to the hotel for a short siesta. In the afternoon, we went to the zona marginal (marginal zone, commonly referred to as the “slums”). When we arrived, we encountered a kind of poverty that most of our group had never seen. We crowded into the small, cramped quarters of several residents and heard about their struggles. Pastor Edgar prayed with several people, including some very ill individuals. One of the residents was selling pinatas and we acquired a new pinata pal- a moose (pictures to follow).

When we returned to the hotel, we had a dinner with the Shalom scholarship recipients and applicants for next year. They shared their stories with us and we told them a little about our church, what it means to be a “different kind of Baptist” and the scholarship fund. It was particularly exciting for Rick and Carol because they have been instrumental in the scholarship program since its inception 10 years ago. They knew many of the students by name and it was truly a joy for them to meet in person. This powerful encounter strengthened the desire of our group to continue raising funds for this incredible scholarship program. It is truly transformative program and we look forward to sharing more about it with everyone when we return.

Several members of the group decided it was time for bed but a few went out and sang karaoke. We wowed the crowd with such hits as “Living on a Prayer” and “What I Got”. What a diverse and wonderful day!